Thursday, January 5, 2012
What can I do to become like him?
My boyfriend is mechanical, cold, and indifferent. He wakes up in the morning and gets straight on his computer to play WoW, where he remains all day until he gets too sleepy to stay awake. He barely speaks to me at all anymore. I love him but it's obvious he doesn't love me. He doesn't even bother kissing me goodnight or even saying goodnight. He plays with a guild of online friends that he's known for about a year now, in the top PvE guild of our server. It's basically his world. I try to go off and do other things, I try to immerse myself in something and get lost but that just isn't my nature. I'm very loving, I want to be loved. I can't leave him right now, we are stuck together for the summer at least. (Long story but trust me, I can't leave right now). I realize leaving would be the best thing because he doesn't reciprocate my feelings. I feel like I'm stuck in doing a prison sentence with him everyday. Seeing him everyday, being his robot self, is just upsetting to me. My stomach is always in knots. I try to entice emotions out of him sometimes by coming up behind him and running my nails over his back or maging his shoulders but he could care less. He acts more annoyed than anything. So I back off. I just don't know how to deal with this for the next 3 months. I need suggestions as to how I can block my feelings for him. Or become cold like him. Or, anything....just not this constant feeling like I'm nothing every-freaking-day.
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